Changes in one is very common, people are all ever-changing. For myself, I think that the biggest change in me since young would probably be a change in attitude towards talking. From young, I was rather chatty and it seemed that I could chat with almost anyone and everyone. I used to talk to my mother's student's parents as they waited for their kids to finish their lesson. I would take a photo album out and show them the photos, talking to them in the meantime, about anything under the sun. I would start talking about where the photo was taken, to when, to my feelings then, and continue digressing, and somehow, the topics would lead to things like current affairs, politics, gossip, and all sorts of other topics. Young as I was, I knew about the affairs that were happening in the country, not because I read the newspaper, but because I talked so much to others. Other than them, I would talk to my friends, my teachers, a random lady who sells drinks in my school's canteen, even my mother's friends, I could talk to them and rant on endlessly.

I stayed this way throughout my primary school life, all the way till my secondary school life, when people started to seem more complicated and started reading more into things than they used to during primary school. Many a times, even the most superficial comment I make such as, "your previous hairstyle looked better." would offend my classmates, leading them to think that I didn't think what they thought was nice, was as good as it seemed. Or when they asked me on a certain subject that I wasn't too sure about and I told them what I thought was the answer, often I would get the blame when it turned out to be wrong. But to me, I only told them what I thought would be the answer and did not affirm with them that that was the correct answer. In my point of view, I was merely trying to help my classmate, even though I was unsure myself. Because to me, I would like to try and help my friends in any way that I could, but to them, they questioned me as to why I gave them the wrong answer. Other than that, I tend to divulge other people's information. When one of my friends ask for another's email address, or phone number, or any other personal contact, thinking that I'm very helpful, I would give it to them. But unknowingly, I was actually giving away my friend's personal information. Often, when someone asks me why I let someone else know their personal information, my immediate reaction would be "because they asked for it", and it would be because the people asking for it are my friends. But to others, giving away their information without asking for their consent, was actually divulging their personal information to some extent.

Hence from then on, I changed my attitude towards talking. I still was very chatty, but I didn't dare to open up to people who I was not familiar with. I only dared to be myself with my closer friends. From being very chatty and talkative to anyone, I started to withdraw from the crowd. I disliked being in new and unfamiliar places, and I didn't like talking to strangers. I didn't like the idea of talking about myself, or talking about someone else to someone whom I barely knew, for fear of offending them, or of divulging my friends' information accidentally by talking about their experiences, or their lives. To some extent, I would say that some sort of psychological barrier was actually formed, which then stopped me from talking as much as I would have, had I not been so afraid of so many of those negative things that would happen. In my opinion, I felt that talking lesser would then allow me to have less chances to make mistakes, less chance of offending others, of letting slip information, of so many of the negative things that would happen if I talked as much as I used to. To others who did not know me, I appeared to be cold, unfriendly, and even shy or scared.

But things took a change in my year in secondary 4, when I and my good friends almost fell out, once again, because of talking. Till that point, I didn't talk much to anyone else besides my closer friends. But who made me change again, was the fact that my close friend actually misunderstood what I said, and thought that I was mocking her. In my group of close friends, news spread and everyone thought that I was the one bad-mouthing my friend. Eventually, things did clear up between the both of us, but from then, a barrier of some sort was formed and I never did talk as much as I did, even to my closer friends, for fear of straining our relationship, for fear of the unnecessary fights between us which might occur. Thus in conclusion, I would say that changes would affect everyone in some way, or other, its just a matter of whether it’s a change for better, or for worse, whether the change affected the person positively or negtively. I wouldn’t say that my change was for the better, but at least it made me take note of what I say, and thinking twice before saying anything.

I guess now that I'm a communications student, I will learn more about communicating with others, and not be so afraid anymore! :)